Declining 1:1 Meetings Without a Message Is Rude

Published on Apr 15, 2024, filed under misc. (Share this post, e.g. on Mastodon or on Bluesky.)

Just to get this on the record somewhere ^*:

No matter who you are and what your position, declining 1:1 meetings without a message—or just not showing—is rude.

When you can’t meet, decline with context and/or an apology.

If you cannot do that right away, do so as soon as you can.

If possible, propose a new time to meet.

If appropriate, ask the other to propose a new time to meet.

If the meeting is being canceled for good, say so and explain.

But don’t just decline 1:1s without a comment.

It’s disrespectful—and you’re setting a bad example for your organization’s culture.

^* I’ve seen this behavior in several organizations. Not right now though—I’ve just moved to Spain, and am open to a management position in an organization with a friendly (preferably even googley) remote culture.

About Me

I’m Jens (long: Jens Oliver Meiert), and I’m an engineering lead, guerrilla philosopher, and indie publisher. I’ve worked as a technical lead and engineering manager for companies you use every day (like Google) and companies you’ve never heard of, I’m an occasional contributor to web standards (like HTML, CSS, WCAG), and I write and review books for O’Reilly and Frontend Dogma.

I love trying things, not only in web development and engineering management, but also in philosophy. Here on meiert.com I share some of my experiences and perspectives. (I value you being critical, interpreting charitably, and giving feedback.)