Declining 1:1 Meetings Without a Message Is Rude

Published on Apr 15, 2024, filed under misc. (Share this post, e.g., on Mastodon.)

Just to get this on the record somewhere ^*:

No matter who you are and what your position, declining 1:1 meetings without a message—or just not showing—is rude.

When you can’t meet, decline with context and/or an apology.

If you cannot do that right away, do so as soon as you can.

If possible, propose a new time to meet.

If appropriate, ask the other to propose a new time to meet.

If the meeting is being canceled for good, say so and explain.

But don’t just decline 1:1s without a comment.

It’s disrespectful—and you’re setting a bad example for your organization’s culture.

^* I’ve seen this behavior in several organizations. Not right now though—I’ve just moved to Spain, and am open to a management position in an organization with a friendly (preferably even googley) remote culture.

About Me

I’m Jens (long: Jens Oliver Meiert), and I’m an engineering lead, guerrilla philosopher, and indie publisher. I’ve worked as a technical lead and engineering manager at various companies (e.g., Google); I’m an active web and tool developer (code optimization, digital defense), a contributor to web standards (like HTML, CSS, WCAG), and a book author (O’Reilly, Frontend Dogma).

I love trying things—in web development and engineering management, but also in politics and philosophy, where I hold to one idea in particular: that we can only be well if we take good care of everyone. Here on meiert.com I talk about some of my perspectives and experiences. (Please share feedback: Interpret charitably, keep it friendly, but do be critical.)