Oh WTF My Tone, or: On Germans Speaking English
Published on JanĀ 17, 2018 (updated JunĀ 17, 2024), filed under misc (feed). (Share this on Mastodon orĀ Bluesky?)
Anecdote. When I was working at Google, shortly after I had made one of my first bigger contributions (the Go framework), I experienced one of my more memorable performance reviews. Amidst a great reception of Go, good progress towards measurable quality improvements, and when generally feeling that things were going well, I received a peer review from someone on the team who I hadnāt even worked with and who wasnāt familiar with my work, and that feedback was, not friendly.
Though it didnāt hurt my career, the feedback stung; and though I later made an effort to learn more about the personās motivation, they never made like effort, nor disclosed their thinking, and so all thatās left is the idea that I had throughout acted professionally in a context that was but professional. (As I consider their conduct to be of low character as well, I now set such people straight. [Looking back at this even later, maybe I was, indeed, a bit full of myself at the time.])
If there was something here, however, then it had been around language, or toneāand I recall talking to my manager at the time (I was still a rather junior Googler) and listening when he suggested that some of my team communications may have been misunderstood, which in turn helped them to be misconstrued.
Some of that, of course, was due to the fact that I hadnāt been, and still am not, a native English speaker.
Some of that, we speculated, was perhaps because of some twists in the way German and English work; some phrases common and normal in German sound rather harsh and unfriendly in Englishāeasily like orders and commands evenāwhich is quite different from the always polite and āPCā English one hurries to speak in California.
Some of that had probably been due to inexperience (in matters of wider organizational communication) as well as linguistic playfulness (I love to try things).
But the point is, even I am surprised about my tone at times.
And, it has become worse with my bilingual setup.
In English, Iāve traditionally applied terms, expressions, and structures from my mother tongue.
And in German, Iāve after my seven years abroad also begun to use ātranslationsā and expressions that are not commonly used or not at all used here.
In English, for example, I had a time when I often said āanywayā as some direct translation for how in German we say āirgendwie.ā A biggie, actually: A casual sense of uncertainty suddenly becomes aloof indifference.
In German, now, itās more those translations like ādu machst meinen Tagā (eh? from āyou made my dayā) that puzzle the people around me.
And then thereās tone.
In written language, and Iām pretty sure this particularly (or solely?) applies to English, I may use a peculiar mix that can come off as strict, arrogant, even condescending. (I got feedback like that in early years.)
Now, this is probably subjective, and then thereās also something else here.
That āsubjectiveā is clear I suppose. Some people find offense in anything either of us doāwhile others donāt. After all, we know that, as I put it a few weeks back, Jesus could come in and someone could well scold him for being there.
That āsomething elseā is somewhat trivial but also makes the whole matter difficult: Sometimes I am strict. Sometimes I may even be a bit arrogant, as I do get heated up at times when for the umpteenth time in 20 years of web development, something gets cooked that clearly doesnāt work, or is clearly costly, or is clearly of low quality, or is clearly x, y, or z, at least from my point of view, but then the whole field falls over itself to do the mistake again (or sometimes not). But, another one of those words here, Iām never condescending.
To be that I have too much respect for the people in the field, for you, for people in general. It goes against my disposition and my values. Itās something I deem silly and low, for we can all learn from each other.
Okay, maybe itās not quite that heroic, either. But back to my tone:
The point is, I myself see how I f up my tone at times. I translate a post of mine and think, oh thatās actually a little strong; oh, harsh; mmh, very confident (and confident I am as much as I try to be open, even vulnerable).
And really, countering this whole point, I donāt think (or want) it to be a big deal.
But, Iām working on it.
And, Iām talking about it.
And thatās all for a post like this. Thereās no action to be taken here. Itās my (and any other English-speaking Germansā?) problem and responsibility. Though if you want, cut bilingualsāand I suppose this can all be taken a very wrong way, too, in again a silly mannerāsome slack at times, once more. Learning languages and switching languages does require time to do perfectly well.
Update (May 10, 2021)
By now, writing and publishing largely in English, yet living in Germany and speaking German again for a number of years, I have no idea how my written English must come across. (The same goes for my German writings.) I trust my editors, my peers, and my colleagues to tell me when I acquire disagreeable habits. (Please do.)
Update (May 30, 2024)
Now that I moved to Spain, this case seems lostĀ š
About Me
Iām Jens (long: Jens Oliver Meiert), and Iām a web developer, manager, and author. Iāve been working as a technical lead and engineering manager for small and large enterprises, Iām an occasional contributor to web standards (like HTML, CSS, WCAG), and I write and review books for OāReilly and Frontend Dogma.
I love trying things, not only in web development and engineering management, but also in other areas like philosophy. Here on meiert.com I share some of my experiences and views. (I value you being critical, interpreting charitably, and giving feedback.)