Declining 1:1 Meetings Without a Message Is Rude

Published on April 15, 2024, filed under Everything Else (RSS feed for all categories).

Just to get this on the record somewhere ^*:

No matter who you are and what your position, declining 1:1 meetings without a message—or just not showing—is rude.

When you can’t meet, decline with context and/or an apology.

If you cannot do that right away, do so as soon as you can.

If possible, propose a new time to meet.

If appropriate, ask the other to propose a new time to meet.

If the meeting is being canceled for good, say so and explain.

But don’t just decline 1:1s without a comment.

It’s disrespectful—and you’re setting a bad example for your organization’s culture.

^* I’ve seen this behavior in several organizations. Not right now though—I’ve just moved to Spain, and am open to a management position in an organization with a friendly (preferably even googley) remote culture.

About Me

I’m Jens (long: Jens Oliver Meiert), and I’m a frontend engineering leader and tech author/publisher. I’ve worked as a technical lead for companies like Google and as an engineering manager for companies like Miro, I’m close to W3C and WHATWG, and I write and review books for O’Reilly and Frontend Dogma.

I love trying things, not only in web development (and engineering management), but also in other areas like philosophy. Here on meiert.com I share some of my views and experiences.

If you’d like to do me a favor, interpret charitably (I speak three languages, and they do collide), yet be critical and give feedback for me to fix issues, learn, and improve. Thank you!